It gets lonely out here, but I don’t mind it so much. Early in the morning, the lifeguards wave hi to me – they all know me. I’m pretty sure they think I’m crazy, but I don’t care. Stupid kids. They have no idea. And actually I’m pretty happy about that – I don’t want them to have to worry about what I worry about. That’s why I’m here, to keep them safe so they can sleep at night without a care in the world.
I know what I’m doing is important to the security of our country, although I’m probably the only one who remembers. I’m probably the only one old enough and with enough sense to understand that Lyndon Johnson knew what he was talking about all those years ago, about our enemies and about how badly they want to hurt the United States and its way of life.
Sometimes I find myself drifting off, lulled into dreamless sleep by the soft murmur of the gently splashing waves at high tide, in the very wee hours of the morning, after all the tourists have gone back to their hotel rooms and the luaus are over.
It doesn’t bother me too much that I’m the only one left, the only one who remembers. I’m the only one who really understands that LBJ was right all those years ago when he warned us about our enemy. He knew. He knew.
The enemy doesn’t sleep, so I feel guilty when I do. But what can I do? I’m 63 70 years old now. I don’t have the energy for this anymore, not the way I used to. I worry sometimes, I’ll be honest with you. I worry what will happen when I can’t do this anymore – and I’m the last one of us. There used to be more of us – The Watchers, we called ourselves. We heard the call. We knew the danger. We weren’t lulled into a false sense of security, like those long-haired liberal hippies. We weren’t out burning our draft cards. Hell, no. We were right here at home in the good ol’ U.S. of A., fighting the good fight, manning the ramparts in the culture wars – only we didn’t call them the culture wars back then. Huh. I like that guy, O’Reilly. He knows about the culture wars. A brother-in-arms, he is. Yeah, we didn’t enlist to go to Vietnam, but so what? My number never came up – lowest it ever got was 297, so I didn’t get picked. But I woulda gone, if I’da been called, you better believe it. Hell, yeah, I woulda. Woulda greased me some gooks – BANG! Oh, hell, yeah.
But the goddamned weasel politicians and liberal hippie college students screwed that up. Didn’t let us finish the job. Tied our goddam hands. Made us tuck tail and run like cowards. Ruined the reputation of the U.S. around the world. Ever seen anything more disgraceful than helicopters taking off from the roof of the U.S. embassy? Disgraceful. Shameful.
And when I saw that on TV, that’s when I knew I had to come here. Because I remembered. I remembered what LBJ had warned us about when he first came back from Asia back in 1961, back when that pantywaist Kennedy had been in charge. Huh, Kennedy probably figured LBJ’d just traipse around gookland and shake hands and come home, but not LBJ- he was a real man, a real president. No, he saw what was goin’ on over there. He saw the enemy for what they were. He knew they wouldn’t stop until that had destroyed our country and all the people in it and everything it stood for. He warned us. He warned us.
But did anybody listen? Hell, no. Nobody did. Nobody. Only a few of us. And we remembered.
So when I saw those films on TV of those helicopters taking off from the roof of our embassy, I knew what I had to do. I got on a plane and flew straight over here. And so did about 20 others of us. Huh, it was like in that movie, where the aliens land in Wyoming, and everybody who knew it was gonna happen just kinda found their way there like by ESP or something.
Yeah, at first we all got on swell, and we divided up watching duties among all of us. But then as the years passed, we all got older, and sooner or later, you knew it was gonna happen, some of us died off. The rest of us would just carry on like good soldiers, but time takes its toll, like they say. So now it’s just me, and I’m not gettin' any younger.
But what gives me hope is hearin’ stuff like this John Boehner says today. Today, he’s talking about the war in Iraq, about how our boys over there are protecting our freedom – and I guess our girls, too, now – and then he says something just like LBJ said when he got back from Asia back then. He says,
"We will embolden terrorists in every corner in the world. We will give Iran free access to the Middle East," said Republican leader John Boehner, R-Ohio. "And who doesn't believe the terrorists will just follow our troops home?"
- and it does my heart good. And I know that somewhere, somebody’s listening to that, and they’re hearin’ the same thing I did when I heard LBJ say those same things back in 1961 –
Vice President Lyndon Johnson, a fierce anti-communist, visits Vietnam to assess the situation and comes back with a warning that the loss of Vietnam to Communist forces would one day force Americans to fight "on the beaches of Waikiki [Hawaii]." He continues, "The battle against communism must be joined in Southeast Asia with strength and determination...or the United States, inevitably, must surrender the Pacific and take up defenses on our own shores."
And now, goddammit, It looks like it’s happening all over again: goddam liberal Democrats tryin’ to tie the president’s hands on the war, stabbin’ him in the back, not givin’ our boys the chance to win. And our girls, too, I mean.
I just hope someone has the sense to stand watch when the time comes. ‘Cause when we pull out of Baghdad, it’s gonna be just like Saigon all over again. And it’ll be the goddam liberals’ fault again. They just hate to see our troops win. They hate to see America win. They don’t understand what it takes. It’s hard work.
Huh, I guess they won’t be watching on the beach, though, like I am. I guess they’ll have to watch for those camel jockeys comin’ in through the airports, just like they did last time. Won’t be easy. Sure hope there’s enough of ‘em like me – and like that guy Boehner, he’s got his head screwed on straight. Sumbitch even cried when he talked about it, bless his heart.
He understands the threat. He gets it. Just wish more Americans did. We’ll need all of ‘em. It gets lonely out here.